Why men have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded theme that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from ancient times. Affairs can be loaded with evils, cause sadness, and other troubles. In addition you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety matter, funds, age difference, religious education, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I will classify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, date married man.
Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seek affair. I suppose mostly though it is only the human condition, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us flee the real world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people can turn the desire on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another person, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos society has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many people the yearnings will beat their fears and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your relatives or anyone else? You would need to minimize the threat you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major cluster, enormous in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they feel comfy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the children to think about. Your finances are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be as a family besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair sometimes solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage intact.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a common reason I fear. One or the other, as a rule the husband is sexually neglecting his female for a number of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be caring is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Could be we have just developed separately, our general concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.